Three Years
by GwenAspenLahoteWhitlock
Summary: Its been three years since his best friend died and Paul still thinks about her daily. Every year he goes to her grave and talks to her like she is still there and this year is no different. One-shot.


I sat there staring at the wall. Its been three years since the day she died. Thee years ago today I said goodbye to my best friend. Three years ago that I felt the only part of the old Paul slip away, the part that only she knew.

I slowly stand up and make my way downstairs, once down there I head outside. I slowly begin making my normal walk on this day. I don't even have to think about where I'm going anymore because I walk this way at least once a week. I stop in front of your grave and just stand there silently for a minute.

"Well its been another year Jord, and I still miss you," I shake my head sadly. "Every day I wake up wishing I could talk to my best friend again. Some days I even think that you'll show up at my house banging on my door telling me that I need to get my ass outside for patrol. But then I remember that I won't ever hear you tell me that again. You won't ever tell me anything again." I slowly sit down next to her headstone.

"I know that you are probably looking down at me laughing and telling me to get my pathetic ass up but its harder then I thought Jord. I never realized until you died how much I relied on you. Aside from Rachel you were my rock. You kept me on the right path until I found Rachel. Half the time you kept me on that path by kicking my sorry ass. You did that up until like the day before you died." I stare in front of me.

"I saw Eli the other day. He came to town to visit yours and EJ's graves. He called me to let me know he was in town. He introduced me to his fiance. She's a nice girl it seems, very good for him. I took them out to lunch so that I could make sure she was good enough for your son. They told me at lunch that they are getting married in six months and Eli said that he wants me to be the ones to marry them since you can't be there to do it. I of course told him yes. Guess I gotta make sure that I know what the hell to say. Never married two people before," I chuckle lightly. "He even wants to be married at yours and the leech's house still is. Eli had it fixed up and pays for it. So far he has kept it vacant so that he can have his wedding there like he wants. He says its where he feels like you are closest to him. He wishes you could have met his fiance though, he says you would like her. I agree you would." I go quiet for a minute wanting to collect myself.

"The pack is doing good also. Nicole and Jacob are still keeping us as one strong connected pack. Everybody misses you though. Not as much as Nicole and I do but they still miss you. Every once and awhile you will hear one of the wolves thinking about something and a memory of you telling them how to do something pops in their head. That's normally about the time that Nicole or I block off our mind from the rest of the pack so we can be left alone for a short time. Especially when its close to this time of the year. Its hard to see all the memories and not miss you more then before." I take a deep breathe and stop for a minute again. "You were the best out of all of us Jord, even if you didn't think you were. You really honestly were. You dedicated yourself to be the best help in the whole entire pack both on patrols and in the main village. You were amazing at leading the fight training sessions. You were a kick-ass beta Jordan and I'm glad I was around while you were." I sigh and look down at my hands.

"You know my little Jordan asked me yesterday to tell her the story about the white wolf of the rez. So I told her your story. I told her everything and you want to know what she told me after I finished? She told me, 'Daddy I love Auntie Jordan. She seemed cool. I wish I could have meet her.' Well she might not have said that in so many words since she will only be three years old tomorrow. Every night she says goodnight to Rachel and I, before I go tuck her into bed, but before she lets me tuck her in she gets down on the floor and starts telling you about her day. Then she'll tell you goodnight and hold her arms up for me to put her in bed. She has even told me that sometimes she has dreams about you. She says that you tell her about how nice it is wherever you are, that you tell her that you tell how EJ is, and that you tell her stories about what I was like as a kid. She adores you Jord and she never even met you." I sigh again and look up at the sky.

"You know Jord she reminds me of you. She acts so much like you sometimes its creepy. She's got that badass attitude that you have always had and she's only three. Sometimes I wonder if you really are talking to her in her dreams, teaching her how to act just like you. I mean the other day so boys were talking bad about one of her best friends and she sent all the boys home with black eyes and split lips. You would be proud of her Jord. She's a little badass in a three year old's body." I chuckle lightly as I think about my daughter.

"Oh and I have great news Jord. Rachel's pregnant again, this time with a boy. We're naming him Bradley Jaden Lahote. Rach and I said we would name our first boy that after Jordan was born." I smile slightly. "I'm honestly excited to have a son Jord. Its somebody that I can go out and play ball with once he's older and do stuff that fathers only do with their sons. I want to be the best father I can to both my kids." I look up as I hear a little girl calling out for me.

"Daddy!" I smile as my daughter runs over to me and jumps into my lap. "Dis Auntie Jowdie's?"

"Yeah baby girl, this is Auntie Jordan's grave. Do you want to say anything to her before we go back to Mommy?" I ask her while giving her a small smile.

"Yeah I do. Auntie Jowdie I neber met you, buts I wuved you for a bery long time! You bery pwetty and I met you when I's gets up der wif you!" She smiles sadly and hugs me.

"She heard everything you said baby girl and I bet Auntie Jordan loves you just as much as you love her." I smile and stand up, holding my daughter in my arms. I look down at Jordan's grave one last time and let a single tear drip down my face.

"Another year Jord, and I still miss just as much as in the beginning." With that I place down the picture of Jordan and I from when we were younger and carefree. I then walk back to my wife and wrap my free arm around her waist. I look back once before I walk back to my house with my wife and daughter.


End file.
